Nothing, Infinity and You

Back in the '80s (1980's for those of you who time travel and can't tell which century I'm talking about), there was a game called "Burger Time" where you were a little chef creating "perfect" burgers by walking across the humongous burger layers (top bun, meat patty (or "meatwad", but that's allusion to something else), lettuce, cheese, etc.). To thwart your creations, Mr. Hot Dog, Mr. Egg and Mr. Pickle chased you around. You were armed with a pepper shaker whereas you would shake pepper (black pepper, I presume) that would render your "enemies" useless for a few seconds while you continue your delectable creations.

Anyway, I just ate a Double Whopper from Burger King. I'm not sure what the reason is, but EVERY burger, no matter where you get it, is NEVER assembled as nice as in their TV commercials so you wind up wearing your burgers as well as eating most of it. It's quite a delectable grossness, if may be so bold as to coin a culinary phrase. Not too long ago, David Hasselhoff was filmed by his most evil daughter eating a burger, practically off the floor, while he was wasted; either by drinking or drugs, I couldn't tell. All I was fixated on was the burger and how it is remeniscent of the burgers of lore that I have conquered gastronomically. D. H. said in the video "...this is gross..." (I'm paraphrasing of course). You can watch the video here. So now every time I eat a burger, I am reminded of the horrific visuals of D. H. eating off the floor. It makes my stomach a bit queasy.

We can now create a version of Burger Time and add Mr. Hasselhoff to the list of enemies that you, as the struggling chef, will encounter in your quest to create the perfect burger.