Nothing, Infinity and You

Kidnapping Water

thenothing 05 February, 2007 20:55 General Permalink Trackbacks (0)

It was my turn to cook today. I took hot a package of spicy Italian sausages from the freezer and put them in the sink to thaw. I turned on the faucet only to see the water trickle out of existence. "Hmm..." I thought to myself, "...I *just* washed my hands two minutes ago and there was water. Unless...NO!!!!!!!" I ran to the living room window. I saw a man from the county shutting off my water.

I opened the door and saw the red notice. I picked it up and read that I owed, like, ten gazillion dollars! So I'm running behind the county guy (henceforth known as "CG") trying to flag him down. He sees me on his rear-view mirror and floors the little truck! What a bastard! I wasn't going to kill him. Maim, but not kill.

Thiry minutes later, I'm at the county water works office explaining the situation. Needless to say, the red notice amount was correct. The county extorted money from me because they had to come out to turn off my water! They, without hesitation, tacked on a deposit and a reconnect fee ON TOP OF my normal bill. Almost $200.00!

So I wrote the rubber check and, impressively, they were out to turn on my water within the hour. This ordeal made me go back to nail-biting plus I drank almost a whole bottle of 2002 White Merlot (de-lish). So I'm a bit sloshed as I write this. In fact, why else would I write this?

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How to cope with the idea of non-existence

Kidnapping Water

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